Myrnin's Secret
by FeriPinkFlava
Summary: Set during Kiss of Death. May be SPOILERS from Midnight Alley onwards. ONESHOT. Just a little fanfic, not anything major really : . Claire realizes Myrnin has been hiding something huge from her and sets out to find out what it is. Romance? Yeah. Clyrnin. Defo.


_There was just something off about his mood. From visiting her parents to the way he was restlessly prowling the lab-he just wasn't his usual, unsettlingly manic self. He was a different manic self. "I wish I were going with you," he finally said. "There. I've said it. You may mock me at your will."_

Perhaps that wasn't the only reason for Myrnin's sudden mood change, he had been acting pretty strangely recently. Like there was something else, something important on his mind. Claire hadn't really considered it before, she thought vampires enjoyed the prospect of Morganville. It was a place, where they could live and succeed freely and peacefully. It was a beautiful opportunity for the humans and vampires to live together in harmony, yet many people had problems with it, the majority of these people weren't actually people.

They were vampires.

Claire understood why there was so much hatred for the place she had lived in for less than a year, the rules were one. There was no way out, no matter how hard anybody tried, they could never fully exceed the boundaries of becoming free of the prison town, Morganville. Living in Morganville was similar to being a child with protectively strict parents, there were so many rules to abide by and somehow you always felt trapped inside without that freedom. Claire learnt that first hand herself when she'd first came to Morganville.

A cloud of shame and guilt washed up over Claire's head, interrupting her thoughts. She'd probably been bragging about how fortunate she was to Myrnin, when all he'd ever wanted was to leave the prison cell, like her. He wanted the freedom more than anything. And bragging had made her feel selfish. _Not good._

She glanced over at him, seated on his desk, keeping himself perfectly preoccupied with a matter at hand. His desk was undeniably tidy, very strange, since Myrnin was quite fond of his messiness. He was never one for being organised. All his books had been carefully propped against the cupboards in neat piles, his alchemy bottles were lined up in rows by colour or even alphabetically. _Crazy_.

"Why are you still here? Please do not linger here any longer. I fear for your safety and is there not places you need to be?" There was a bitter edge to his voice, one that made Claire feel uneasy. She shuddered. Myrnin could be crazy at times, but there was a side to him, Claire was fond of. A sweeter side. And the way he was acting now broke her heart into tiny shards - like he didn't want to be around her any more.

"We're leaving in the evening. There's hours till then, I already told you that!"

And then he rose off his desk, standing up to face Claire. She stared into his eyes, she could see the sadness drift deeply through his eyes down to his face. Where he smiled, slightly with sorrow, "Please Claire, leave me be. I have matters to attend to and I do not seem to require your assistance."

He bowed his head, glancing down at the locket he was cradling in his fingers.

Claire knew something was wrong then.

Ada.

"That's beautiful, Myrnin. It was Ada's right?"

Myrnin sighed and Claire honestly though he wouldn't respond or if he did respond, he would snap back at her angrily. Though he didn't. Instead he walked closer to Claire, still holding the locket. "Yes, I had intended to give it to her centuries ago. Before the disease had fully affected me, I was in love with her Claire. There is so much hatred for my kind, my species. People do not seem to understand that it is extremely difficult. Every day is like a heavy weight on my shoulders. Not just for me, but for the world of vampires. The urge of hunger, it kills. It makes us weak. And when we kill Claire, we are not aware of our monstrous side. I did not intend to kill her, Claire. Not at all. It was the disease at it's maximum. Never again, did I think I would love anybody the same as I did her. I was afraid of love. It ruined me. Do you understand what I am trying to say here, Claire?"

Claire nodded, though she had no idea what Myrnin was talking about. Her eyes were full of tears now, she had never known Myrnin had gone through so much sorrow and pain. If she lost the ones she loved in the same way, she wouldn't be able to gain control of herself any more.

"Ada's death was a foolish mistake, my sanity had deteriorated along with my reason for living. I could not forgive myself for that mistake, I'd made. Her death haunts me everyday. After centuries, the grief is still here,"

He pointed to his heart.

Claire could not meet his gaze, there was something dangerously haunting about his expression right now. She knew it would tear her apart. "When I met you, I had no choice but to distant myself. The distance that was kept between us killed me, but I promised myself I would not let myself expose you to danger both intentionally or directly. That was a risk I was willing to take in fear of love. For you, Claire. And if I ever could gain control of my sanity before I laid even the slightest finger on you, I would tear worlds apart before I did. It is my honourable duty to protect you and I promise you I would die to save you from the dangers waiting for us in Morganville."

Claire wiped her eyes, she had never known there was so much emotion bottled up inside of Myrnin's soul. Raw. Bitter emotion. It darkened his days, left him was nothing less than a burden to hold in place instead of a life. He missed Ada, craved for her. He yearned for her and deep inside his heart, he held an incredible amount of regret. To lose the person he loved. In the dreamy haze surrounding her Claire suddenly felt dizzy, the world around her spun quickly. She could not keep up. And her head burned, along with her thoughts. She did not notice Myrnin, as a blur, approaching her in the distant. He held her hands firmly and stared up into her eyes, with such a gentle, kind and desperate glint in them. Claire almost cried at his state.

He looked worse than he had ever seen him. His eyes were worn out, rimmed with a darkness. She wrapped her arms around his frail body, it warmed her inside.

He let go, beaming up at Claire.

"Myrnin, did you not know that secrets are best shared? I did not ever lose faith in you, did you know that? Even when our times were tough, I always believed in you. And it's true, I have a secret too."

"And what may that be?"

"My love. For you. I love you."

"I have a promise I intend to keep. No more secrets."

She smiled, perfect in agreement. And kissed him.


End file.
